MATTHIEU WILLIAMS: User Guide and Manual
by Gabrielle Roe
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS! You just purchased a MATTHIEU WILLIAMS unit! To ensure your safety and making sure to stay alive, we included this manual to help understand your unit.


**Technical Specifications**

Name: Matthieu Williams. Will respond to "Canada", "Canadia", "2P!Canada", "Williams", "Matt", and "Mattie"

Age: 19

Place of Manufacture: Manitoba, Canada

Height: 6'1

Weight: N/A

Length: That's not a hockey stick in his pants

**Your MATTHIEU WILLIAMS unit comes with the following accessories:**

One (1) red and black mountie uniform

Two (2) red flannel shirts

Two (2) pair of jeans

One (1) near indestructible hockey stick

Two (2) pack of cigarettes

One (1) white wolf Kuma unit

**Programming**

Your MATTHIEU WILLIAMS is equipped with the following traits:

Park Ranger: Hate seeing animals hurt? You want to maim the poachers that dare hunt them? Well look no further! The MATTHIEU WILLIAMS unit hates poachers just as much as he hates the ALLEN JONES unit. He has no problem taking poachers out in order to save the animals!

Hockey Player: It's no secret that Canada has some of the most skilled hockey players. This unit is no exception! Possibly one of our finest when it comes to ice hockey, nothing can stand in the way of him! You'll be making money out of the wazoo!

Fighter: Since is a 2P! version of the MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit, he is more willing to fight and get his hands dirty with the blood of his enemies or people who just annoy the hell out of him. Thanks to being a unit, MATTHIEU WILLIAMS is much stronger than the average man and uses it to his advantage when in a fight. We can guarantee you'll be happy with the money he makes as long as you don't ask too many questions!

**Removal of your MATTHIEU WILLIAMS from Packaging:**

Although MATTHIEU WILLIAMS is one of the more calmer 2P! units, he won't hesitate to maim you if you don't take extra caution in waking him up. Below we have listed several ways for you to wake him without meeting a hockey stick to the skull.

1\. Make pancakes - at the smell, he will wake up and take over, saying you're not doing it right and that you better have real maple syrup and not the synthetic American shit.

2\. Put on a hockey game and watch as your MATTHIEU WILLIAMS unit breaks free from his box and starts yelling at the screen. While he's distracted, you may program him.

3\. Speak with a New Yorker accent and immediately trash talk Canada - your unit will jump to action and start hunting for an ALLEN JONES unit. We are not responsible for any damages that may come from this.

4\. Start up your KUMA unit and your MATTHIEU WILLIAMS unit will get up as well.

**Reprogramming**

After successfully waking your unit, you may reprogram him to any of the following settings:

_Stoic (default)_

_Intimidating (default)_

_Horny_

_Lumberjack_

_Sweet Innocence (Locked)_

_Blood Hungry (Locked)_

He has two defaults and they are _Stoic_ and _Intimidating_. In his default modes, MATTHIEU WILLIAMS will not speak much but the aura around him will do the speaking for him. This is probably the safest and least annoying mode for you to be around him.

_Horny_ mode is easy to unlock. In this mode, MATTHIEU WILLIAMS is infamous for one night stands, threesomes, orgies, weird stuff, the works. It's not uncommon for him to ask his owner or any other units, whether he likes them or not, to join. He won't push you if you say no, but don't be surprised if he takes the room next to yours with a couple of ladies and makes as much noise as possible out of spite.

His other unlockable mode is _Lumberjack_ and we can say there isn't a huge difference. He'll grow stubble and forever wear his red flannel shirt and jeans and carry an axe with him wherever he goes. He will drink more heavily (if that's even possible) in this mode and chop down any tree he sees, whether it be the one on your lawn or in a park. To unlock this mode you have to get him to willingly chop down a tree or get him smashed.

His first locked mode is _Sweet Innocence_. In this mode, he's not the hot, stoic stud we all know and love/fear. He's happy, he smiles, and most of all, is innocent. We're talking Lily Zwingli level of innocence here. He seems to forget about all his sexy escapades and acts like an innocent, sweet child. Frankly it's creepy in a cute sort of way. In this mode, he'll tend to cling either to a FRANCOIS BONNEFOY unit or the mother figure of the household, male or female. To get him in this mode, ask him about his sad, sad childhood or have a kids show marathon. We currently do not know how to get him out of this mode, but be happy to know he goes back to his default mode within a few days to a week at most.

Easily his most dangerous mode, _Blood Hungry_ is unlocked when someone harms his family or kills an endangered animal. Unlike most modes, this one only lasts until he has fulfilled his need to spill the person(s) blood. But when in this mode, you will see the devil himself. He holds no mercy for those who dare harm his unit family or kill innocent creatures.

**Relationships with Other Units**

Matthew Williams: He is really one of the few that actually sees his 1P! counterpart. They don't talk much, but they have a mutual respect for one another. Although his 1P! counterpart doesn't approve of his bloody business, MATTHIEU WILLIAMS couldn't give a care. They are possibly the only counterparts that don't want to kill one another.

Allen Jones: These two units are brothers and get into many physical and verbal fights. MATTHIEU WILLIAMS claims to hate his brother, but when he's in trouble, he'll have his back. Of course, not without out some sort of payment.

Alfred F. Jones: He finds his brother's counterpart to be annoying as hell. They hate each other, but not to the extent that ALLEN JONES and ALFRED F. JONES hate each other. If those two are fighting, MATTHIEU WILLIAMS will join the fight, usually ganging up on them both.

Francois Bonnefoy: He is your unit's father figure. Though they aren't particularly close, FRANCOIS BONNEFOY will have his son join him on special missions as a bonding trip. They have an understanding and respect for one another and care for each other, but they'd sooner off themselves than admit that.

Francis Bonnefoy: The frenchman has a harder time disliking your unit simply because he does see him as a son. MATTHIEU WILLIAMS, however, doesn't see him as a father but uses his feelings towards him as an advantage.

Oliver Kirkland: His other father figure. OLIVER KIRKLAND adores him much like his brother. At times, he can find the pink and blue father to be annoying, so he prefers to spend time with his French father. Secretly, he does like OLIVER KIRKLAND's baking, especially anything that has maple in it.

Arthur Kirkland: These two don't like each other. They'll argue and disagree from time to time, but never get into a physical fight unless someone else has started a fight.

**Cleaning**

MATTHIEU WILLIAMS is capable with cleaning himself and doesn't really care if you bathe with him.

**Feeding**

He is a good cook, but will only cook when it's a necessity or you're screwing up a Canadian-French dish. You'd be lucky to try his poutine.

**Rest**

You will learn shortly that no matter how much sleep your unit gets, he will always look tired. We suggest you don't wake your unit. You could risk the lives of the units and/or humans that might be around him.

**FAQ**

Q: My unit is hogging the TV and is screaming so much, the police is coming by with noise complaints!

A: The Stanley Cup must be going on at this time. We are sorry, but there is nothing you can do except maybe install soundproof walls and buy a separate TV for yourself.

Q: I accidentally touched my units curl and now he has me tied to my bed and keeps talking in French in a husky voice.

A: The haircurl is an erogenous zone and it's another way of unlocking his _Horny_ mode!

Q: My unit broke his hockey stick and is going on a rampage, beating up whoever he sees and sending them to the hospital! What do I do!

A: You can buy a replacement hockey stick by contacting Customer Services. Until then, you might want to have the strongest people you know restrain him and lock him up until the hockey stick arrives. We wish you the best of luck.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: You opened your box and found a 10 year old boy with a wolf cub who has hopes and dreams of following FRANCOIS BONNEFOY into his business and making his Papa proud!

Solution: Our bad! We accidentally sent you little!2P!Canada. This unit is much more talkative than his older self and likes going on adventures. His sadistic side is shown much more visibly and will do whatever FRANCOIS BONNEFOY asks of him. If you're lucky, maybe he'll listen to you too!

Problem: Your unit has decided to live in the woods or your tree if there is no forest around. He refuses to speak to anything that resembles a human and lives off the land. He's not bothering you, except when you fall into one of his traps in an attempt to catch food.

Solution: Congratulations! You've unlocked his _Solitary_ mode. In this mode, he secludes himself from human life and decides to be a real life Tarzan. He'll eat meat raw, he'll pee on your tree, and will beat away anyone who tries to convince him to go back to the technological society. To get him out of this mode, either tell him he's missing the big hockey game or have an ALLEN JONES unit beat some sense into him.

**End Notes**

With enough maple syrup, space, and patience, your unit will make excellent company. We wish you the best of luck!

* * *

**Hallo, is'a me, Gabby~**

**Sorry this was late, but I got distracted with school . . . So here's the 2p!Canada manual for my fic _I Blame the Government._ Hope you guys like it!**

**Oh, and if anyone read this, do you think I should just make one story and put al the manuals there, or make them separate?**

**Toodles~**


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